3 Easy Tips for Office Employees to Reframe Rumors into Opportunities and Boost Their Reputation

How to avoid self-promotion by getting others to do it for you

RJ Reyes
5 min readAug 7, 2024
Photo by Mad Fish Digital on Unsplash

Have you ever said anything negative about a coworker?

I’m sure somebody at work has done the same thing to you. It’s unavoidable. You can complain about it but that isn’t going to do much. Rumours will spread whether you like it or not.

A more effective approach is to work around it.

The first step is to accept that you cannot befriend everyone at work. Expect the fact that there is a hidden hater in your team. Figuring out who they are is not an effective use of your energy.

Does figuring out who they are make you do your job more efficiently?

If the answer is “no,” then it’s more helpful to spend your energy to figure out how to win anyway despite all the setbacks. One way is to flip the negative effects of rumour into something that would accelerate your social cred at work.

Here’s how:

  1. Plant favours as much as possible: help a colleague without expecting anything in return.
  2. Approach everyone like it was the first time: Don’t let a bad rumour about someone affect how you approach them. Our body language sucks at pretending so I’d avoid faking your interactions as much as possible.
  3. Don’t be a baby about it: Complaining is much easier than figuring out how to solve the problem. It may relieve you from your frustration, but it’s not enough to change things.

The more you operate this way, the more you avoid work conflict and the more you preserve your integrity within the organization.

Plant favours as much as possible

Expecting others to help you out “as per standard process” is not that effective.

I can always find “legitimate” ways to avoid doing something for demanding employees I don’t like. If I can do that to others, then I expect them to do the same too lol. Favours are much more effective. The intent should feel like:

“I’m helping you out because I care, but also note that I will be needing your help someday. So let’s work as a team and help each other out.”

Now, “someday” may never come so don’t expect your favours to be returned.

If you look at it from a surface level, it would feel like it’s a waste of time. The company is not paying you extra money to help others out. You wouldn’t know either if they appreciate it. But here’s what it will give you: social credits.

Your actions show that you’re a team player who values collaboration over competition.

The more people you help, the more social credits you gain, and the higher your chances of building a reputation for being reliable and supportive.

Approach everyone like it was the first time

When I hear something bad about a coworker, I can’t help but carefully approach them.

I have this fixed narrative in my head about them that is hard to mentally erase. I can’t help but wonder, “Is this person gonna throw me under the bus after?” or whatever it is that they did. This narrative negatively affects the way I engage them. They haven’t done anything to me yet, but I’m already judging them. It’s unfair — but the judging happens subconsciously.

I don’t want others to do the same thing to me.

And the only thing I can do to prevent that is by doing the following:

  • Let the gossips go whether they’re true or not.
  • Create your own narrative of the person based on actual interactions (not based on somebody else’s).
  • Be “egotistic” about it. Who cares about them? Care about you. Plant favours today, collect them later.

Doing these keeps me from being judgy.

No one can read intentions, but whatever it is your thinking will be revealed by your body language.

Our body language sucks at lying. Plus, everyone has this innate ability to sense fakery. Most of the time, it happens subconsciously. Therefore, I wouldn’t even bother trying to fake my interactions because people will find out. No one is going to come to you to confirm your suspicions (of being judged). Just expect it to happen. Realizing that helped me become more authentic with my interactions.

It helps me focus on the other person’s best attributes.

When that happens, I increase my chances of adding them to my network of trusted colleagues as opposed to someone too quick to throw me under the bus.

Don’t be a baby about it

Resisting the urge to bitch is hard. But with practice, you learn to zen out and keep the bad juju away. It’s worth the time and effort to master this skill in the workplace.

The less you complain, the more resilient you’ll look to everyone

And when you are “resilient”, you’ll look more confident than those who complain a lot. That confidence makes you look more capable of solving the hardest challenges. Which would increase your chances of being chosen to take on your team’s most challenging tasks. The more opportunities you get, the higher your chances of becoming part of this hidden league of top performers.

There are those team members every one in your team confidently counts on to solve their work problems.

Aim to be one of them.

You can get there by building the habit of approaching situations in a more constructive way.

Instead of re-emphasizing how bad the problem is, propose a different way of looking at it. Notice I did not say, “Provide a solution”. Everyone else defaults to that. It’s more helpful if you frame the problem such that the person you are helping can figure out their solution.

Make the team member you are helping feel like they’re the hero.

By focusing on reframing problems rather than complaints, you demonstrate your expertise without hogging the glory of solving the problems.

And when you make others feel like they’re the hero of their problems, you increase your chances of getting on their good side. A win-win scenario.

Putting It All Together

Navigating work conflict doesn’t require grand gestures or becoming best friends with everyone.

It’s about small, consistent actions that show you value integrity and respect. Here’s how you can start implementing these steps today:

  1. Do a Favor: Look for an opportunity to help a colleague without expecting anything in return. Maybe it’s offering to proofread a report or staying late to assist with a presentation.
  2. Steer Clear of Gossip: The next time you hear office gossip, change the subject to something positive or excuse yourself from the conversation. Focus on what you like about your colleagues and their positive contributions.
  3. Hold Your Tongue: If you feel the urge to criticize or complain, take a deep breath and think of a constructive alternative. How can you address the issue positively?

By following these steps, you’ll not only avoid unnecessary work conflict but also build a reputation for integrity and professionalism. Your colleagues will respect you more, and you’ll create a more positive and productive work environment.

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RJ Reyes

I ghostwrite mini-books for leaders in the manufacturing industry to amplify their credibility