“I don’t think I’m getting paid enough to do what I do.”

This was the complaint from a coworker who’s been with the company for a long time. I’m sure she’s not the only one who feels this way. I (at some point in my career) felt that too. No matter what I do, it feels like nothing is changing — I ended up quitting.

Years later, after being with a couple more companies, I realized how skewed my thinking was.

It all starts when you reach the point of complacency.

When you become so good at doing and dealing…

When there’s so much to do with so little time, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed.

This happens when our mental energy reserves run out. The more you think, the quicker you consume that energy.

One of the worst forms of “thinking” (in terms of mental energy usage) is worrying. You may not actively think about something, but there are always those other things in your head you worry about. This is almost always the case when you work on multiple projects at the same time. The more projects you work on, the more you have to (unconsciously) worry about.

…

I’ve been feeling stressed at work lately.

Now, I have a way of reducing the effect of work stress on me: Avoid taking things too personally.

If I can detach my self-esteem from my job, then I would feel less stressed about it. It works most of the time. However, there are times when this “mental workaround” is not enough…even if I like what I do.

Now, imagine if I hated it. The stress level would be much higher. Burnouts become a regular thing.

I’m sure, you know those people who can’t go on a day without complaining. They are…

Guilt can easily consume us — especially if we did something pretty bad regardless if it was done intentionally or by accident.

If you’re the type who gets over guilt easily, then I applaud you. I, however, sometimes take it deeply. I think about why I did what I did. There may be some logical reason behind the action but it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, you caused others to feel negative towards you.

Now, if you dig deeper, you’ll discover another reason beyond the “logical reason”.

It says something about the real you — the one…

Sometimes, we are forced to do something at work we don’t really want to do.

Then, there are also those times when we feel the need to do something we shouldn’t do.

In those situations, who do you listen to?

The voice that goes against your work values?

Or the voice that aligns with your work values?

I found myself in those situations where I had the dilemma of either following what I think is right or doing what feels unethical…but it makes sense.

It’s a tricky situation to be in. It would be nice if there were rules written…

Whenever I screw up, I mentally punish myself for being so stupid.

Then I question my ability to get the job done. I wonder, “How the hell did I miss that?”

Then I start feeling like a fraud. I worry about others finding out that I’m not as good as they think — that I don’t live up to the reputation I’m known for.

This series of thoughts is known as the “Imposter Syndrome”. It’s when we think about things that trigger self-doubt. But wait…it gets worse.

When you doubt yourself, others will notice and will do the same thing…

Every year, we are given this training on preserving work equality and discourage discrimination towards others.

While I certainly do not object to that, I also admit that it made me super careful about what I say or how I say things at work. Work conversations became less fun. The controlled environment limits the type of jokes you’re allowed to say.

This is probably the reason why comedians are the most common target of cancel culture. They say something offensive, and boom! You’re out of the game!

Now, I can empathize because I find offensive jokes to be funny. The…

When a problem shows up, I always feel the urge to provide smart solutions to solve it.

Not sure if this is a “guy thing” but doing so makes me feel smart. It’s egotistic…but it’s the real intent behind unsolicited advice. I know you know people who are not qualified to give advice — simply because they don’t understand the full story.

Some give out advice to tell themselves they are smart or good people. Then, there are the few who genuinely want to help. But regardless of the intent, their advice typically does not address the real problem. …